I’m in the middle of planning a talk for a conference in April. The title is Feeding Your Family and Loving It. The concept that I’m teaching, and I hope participants will leave with, is that following the Division of Responsibility (DOR) will give them the Three C’s of Feeding Your Family and Loving It. I’ve discussed the DOR at great length here and I’ll use the next three posts to introduce you to the Three C’s – Competence, Confidence and Control.
Competence is success, being competent at something means being successful at it. You can do it well, do it efficiently and people trust you to do it. Competence in feeding is no different. People may define competence differently – one person might think it means to feed nutritious foods, while another might think it means to have happy family meals and another might think just getting anything on the table is competence. Actually, it’s kind of all three. Competence is the foundation of Feeding Your Family and Loving It and it stems directly from following the DOR. When the lines of the DOR are kept parents feel competent in feeding their kids, they are successful – meal after meal, night after night.
Being a competent feeder means that you serve your children on a schedule. No one has to guess when their next meal is coming and no one expects to be fed on demand, at their whim. Everyone eats on the same schedule. This is the WHEN of the DOR. Being a competent feeder means that you take nutrition into consideration when planning meals. It also means that you take your families likes and dislikes into consideration – these two parts are the WHAT of the DOR. Being competent means that you can sit down to a family meal and expect everyone to enjoy the same food – this is the WHERE of the DOR. Some family members might not like everything on their plate, but that’s OK because there are plenty of other foods there for them to eat.
Being a competent feeder also means letting go of your emotional attachment to your kids eating. The competent feeder is not emotionally attached to how much and whether or not their kids eat. Even if you spend two hours making dinner – once the plate hits the table your job is done and you need to detach. This is hard, probably the hardest part of becoming a competent feeder.
With each successful meal and snack you will become more and more competent at feeding your family. Then comes the confidence and finally the control and that is how you will Feed Your Family and Love It.